Mo B – The Secret Diary of a Moustache Growing Diamond Buyer
You may or may not already know that November is Prostate Cancer awareness month. October had all the ladies Facebooking "where they like it" to raise awareness for Breast Cancer (the it being their handbag), while November, or Movember, as the campaign calls it, will see men growing, sporting and attempting to sport moustaches for the entire month. The idea is that they start the month clean shaven, and grow the moustache for all the 30 days that hath November, in the hope of raising funds for Prostate Cancer research.
So if you're wondering why the usually stubbly men around you have started the month off baby-bare, this is why. Some of them look hilarious already, if not frightfully young, but this is only a hint of what the end of the month will bring. (Also, if you were wondering what your mother's suitors once looked like, you're about to find out). Hellooooo seventies! In the hopes of furthering both Movember awareness and entertainment, I have decided to offer a weekly blogspot to our very own diamond-buyer-slash-Casanova, James Bradshaw...who will walk us through the triumphs, trials and tribulations of this noble and daring pursuit. So without further delay...here's Week One according to Mr., or should I say Mo Bradshaw...
- A. S.
Week One: Monly the Beginning...
Like a farmer who has sown his seeds, I sit eagerly awaiting the growth of my crops. The crops in question are of course the gloriously rust-coloured moustache which I will be carefully cultivating over the course of November to raise awareness for prostate cancer. So far I'm sporting clean shaven chubby cheeks with a dark ominous shadow forming under my nose, sure to inspire hilarity, disdain and controversy, all in the name of "charidy".
There are some obvious pitfalls that go with sporting a moustache:
1. First and foremost, celibacy. Gone are the days when a woman would judge a man's virility on the bushiness of his tache. Nowadays, the only thing a tache says is: "Beware, this man lives with his grandmother and collects Star Trek memorabilia."
2. Megalomania. There is a worrying trend between history's dictators and the moustache. Could my moustache be the start of a worrying career change from diamond buyer to politician? If I start making decadent statues of myself or turn this blog into a propaganda forum, kindly intervene.
3. Diet. Having a moustache creates a number of culinary challenges. Milk will be off the menu, as will soup and sauces of any kind. I will be sticking to crumb free, dry food in order to preserve my lip warmer in a well groomed, presentable fashion.
Since I am very much in the planning stages of the tache, I'm debating which styles to go for. After long contemplation of my face I cannot decide between Salvador Dali, Tom Selleck and Errol Flynn. Actually any of these will do so long as I don't end up resembling a 90s Ian Beale!
If you would like to donate to the cause then please click here. Prostate cancer kills a man in the UK every minute and it desperately needs a cure.
Like Movember on Facebook!
Mo B.
